About two months back I had a deep moment. Just when I was about to settle for the minimum, God came through better than ever after I accepted my worth.
Worth: noun| the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated.
I was in the process of relocating. Naturally, I had to apartment hunt. Now a year before I left the city I was relocating to, I recall saying to myself: “if I had to move, it would be to these really nice apartments out the way from my college.”
I ventured to Greensboro, North Carolina to apartment hunt. At the time, I had no job in the new city and no prospective job opportunities, so I’m thinking I’ll neglect my true desires and find an apartment that is charming and cheap. I hunt. I’m sending pictures of the “charming” places to my mom and friends. All of my support people are trying to find nice ways to ask me if I’m sure these places are right for me because they know I’m bourgie. When I was hunting, however, I did stop at my dream apartment complex just to see. I was profiled. This day, I had my hair in single braids because I was on my way to wearing a fro that night, but I digress. The apartment gate keeper was not feeling my look, and told me the one bedroom apartments I was looking at would not be available until the fall and the rent was $850. The highest I was willing to pay was $700. Now, at the time, I did not value myself fully, nor did I understand my worth, so I did not fight the hate monger. A few week later, after I decided on a “charming” spot, something said, “call the dream apartment complex.” I called, I asked for same floor plan and the new lady says, “We have a FEW apartments available for the date you are willing to move.” I jump on it with caution because I still wasn’t content with the price– $784.” Now, full of courage, I ask, “Is there a cheaper floor plan available or a discount for educators” She says no. I tell her I will think about it, and get back to her. Now my options are (a)move into a older $600 dollar one bedroom, and move some of my furniture into storage because it will not all fit at the new place. (b)pay $784 for a one bedroom with a “den”, a huge bathroom and a half, new black appliances, and a balcony. I chose the latter, for storage and rent at the smaller place will cost about the same as the dream spot, and well… I want what I want…so YOLO. Right when I made my decision, the new gate keeper calls me to let me know there is a space available with same floor plan and amenities for $681.
In this pre-season of my life, settling was my nature. I was about to settle for an unhealthy relationship. I was about to settle for an unfulfilling job where I was over-worked, under appreciated, and constantly conspired against. My car died on the highway, and I was about to buy another used car with my savings because I feared a car payment. All in all, I said no! I said I am worth more than disrespect. I am worth more than a job where the expectation is for me to live for work. And, damn it, like to travel, and I need a reliable vehicle to transport me to happy vibes.
I proclaimed, I am worth more and I deserve more. It was in this valley, I realized, I am not the settling for scraps kinda bitch. As my minute testimony reveals, the moment you own your worth and wear that hoe as a religious garment, God WILL provide you with more than you could ever ask for, as s/he can do exceedingly more than we could ever comprehend (Ephesians 3:19).
There has to come a time when we, ladies, have to stop allowing fuckboys, horrible bosses, and haters to determine how we view ourselves or what we deserve. We are worth so much more and we have the power to fight for our dreams.
- God created you especially for your own totally awesome extra special purpose. S/he designed you and only you with a special personality, talent, voice, hair follicles, toenail shape, etc.
- The creator and the ancestors support you and root for you to win every day you breathe air.
- You da shit, and can’t nobody tell you otherwise.
Say: I am worth it. I deserve more.
“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” -Maya Angelou
Salute: Now, put your worth on. yassssss. Don’t it feel good. It looks good on you.
be light. work your talents. together we can spark a light pandemic.