My best friend and I often have conversations during which we uplift each other, as best friends should. However, I found that we often find ourselves convincing each other that we are greater than we think we are for the moment. In one of our recent conversations, it dawned on me that we often look at ourselves without considering our natural light.
light-noun|the natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible (the light of the sun)
I am guilty. Some times, many times, I call my best friend and mother questioning myself. Various situations will take place. For example, a potential or ex- lover does or says something that causes me to question my light. I do not do well on an an assignment. When I say assignment I refer to certain tests God will send you to make sure you are always on your best behavior (i.e not being mean, not cursing people out). I harbor over old mistakes we made that causes us to question our morality, beauty, and character.Or worse of all, I compare myself to others.
My bestie and I often talk about what someone, woman or man, has done to us or not done causing disappointment, sadness, and grief. When I recently lost a friend, I called my best friend explaining the situation and asking for feed back. Because I am always seeking to grow, I asked this series of questions: Was I wrong? Who was I right? What do I need to change to become better? On occasions when I find myself in my feelings about my past relationships, I call my male best friend with intent to grow. I ask him: what does this mean? Was I wrong here? Yet, when I reflect back on mistakes I made in my past I always find myself in sorrow.
Lastly, I used to have a bad habit of comparing myself to other people. I would scroll on Instagram and twitter, scoping out the lives people portray–let’s keep it a buck though, a lot of people are not really living the lives they post, for anybody can smile for a picture, but I, digress. Nonetheless, I used to scroll and become sad. I would think, “I don’t have this”, ” I don’t look like that”, “I’m behind because she is already doing that”, “why is my hair taken so long to grow” Yet, those ways of thinking have never been right, but they have proven to be mentally and emotionally draining. Besides, that person is on their own journey, and you will never know what they had to fight through in order to get where they are now.
Break it down, B:
I had realized, I was looking at my cup half empty instead of looking at it half full. I was an ungrateful somebody. Having been blessed with beauty, talent, a lovely personality, and special treasures, I was rude for not acknowledging them. I laughed at myself one day because I was thinking, I had to be getting on God’s nerve.The issue was; I was not focusing on my light. Ladies, we have a tendency of only focusing on the dark corners of ourselves when we should be focusing on the light within. Sure, our dark sides need to be illuminated and eliminated, but constantly harboring on mistakes and comparing ourselves to others does not brighten up those corners, instead it causes the already glowing light to dimmer.
It is a shame, for God has already proven to create us in the most beautiful and meticulous manner (psalm 139:14). Furthermore, our creator has already blessed us with grace, mercy, and forgiveness, so holding on to past mistakes only adds baggage to our on hearts. Instead, we should continue to seek our on light. Rumor has it, when you give thanks, actively appreciate your blessings, and work your good traits, God blesses you with more.
In my time of despair, I had to stop what I was doing and make a list of all of the things I loved about myself. It turned out I took up a few pages in my journal because, well, I’m lit. As you are…yes you. The issue is we have these spiritual sunglasses on blocking all of the goodness from ourselves But, ladies and gentleman, our purpose is to shine. Whenever I see the sun shining on me, I say “what up God, how you doing? Are you joining me today?” I acknowledge the sun as God because it reaches all over and provides us with the light necessary to grow our food, and it even energize ourselves through our hair and skin. So here’s the headline; did God not create us in his/her image? With that logic, we are as light and brilliant as the sun above, so shine. Its your birthright.
Allow a little horn tooting. You da shit. You’ve overcome many obstacles. I think you’ve earned a little honk-honk in your life. Allow that one of a kind awesome personality to shine through even when you are sad. The world needs you to be your most illuminated self because that gives others the unspoken permission to do the same. After all, we have enough sadness and injustice in the world, so give us a little giggle the way only you can. Slay on a consistent basis because if you look good you feel good. Ain’t no shame in it. Serve others because it’ll make your heart shine. Learn something new because it’ll make your mind shine. Find a new hustle because it’ll make your pockets, bundles, and rims shine. Finally, don’t be so hard on yourself because we are ever evolving.
“Stop lookin’ at what you ain’t got, and start being thankful for what you do got.”
be light. Work your talents. Together we can spark a light pandemic.