Greetings all. The post I originally planned was not agreeing with my spirit this week, but this topic is. So, my best friend calls last night, and says, among other things: “the reality is, at our age, right now, these niggas not ready.” My response is, “nope, not at all.” So, in this post I’ll explore various theories and the resolve that came from this conversation.
ready: adjective|in a suitable state for an activity, action, or situation; fully prepared.
So, my best friend calls me up and the first thing she says is this: “Society got these niggas spoiled. They can get pussy any and every where. The young ones can get it easy. The old ones can get it, if they have money. There’s no end. So, as a woman, you have to decide whether you are willing to stay around and wait, go through the motions, until he is ready. Or decide to live your life, travel, and enjoy yourself but risk waiting until you’re 35 for them to get ready.” I responded, “well, (insert best-friends name here) we did the “work with them thing” that got us nowhere. Also, if we wait for them to become ready, who says they’ll want us?” She goes: “facts.”
The conversation hit me like a sack of nickels…who carries sacks of nickels though? But, I digress. So this week I’ve actually been reflecting on my own “relationship” situation, or lack thereof. I’ve been thinking about the men I know. I’ve been thinking about the one that I am interest in, the men I knew in the past, and the men I curve. I’ve found in my analysis that most of them are building their own empires. I like bosses. I can’t help it, I have it honest. My father’s a boss, and my grandfather is a boss, so in rightful fashion, those are the men I’m attracted too. Nonetheless, these men are not ready to commit to serious relationships, or are not interested in relationships at all. I get it. I’m building myself. Nonetheless, this lone ranger life, does get lonely. No matter, because the loneliness, or fleshly desires do not change the fact they are not ready.
Quite frankly, I am not ready for a serious relationship either. Serious relationships should lead to serious commitments like marriage. I for one am not ready to get married. One, I want to be able to do a split on my husband’s penis. I’m not that limber yet. I want to be able to twerk in longevity. I’m still running out of breathe too soon. I want to be able to cook a variety of tasty vegan dishes. I’m still on the vegetable stir fry. I want to be able to bake from scratch for my babies. I’m still using Betty Crocker brownie mix fake-baking in secret. More importantly, I’m still laying the foundation for my own empire and dreams. I have to remind myself a meaningful partnership is only a piece of my dreams. It is not the entire vision. If I continue to only worry myself with that one wall, I will lose focus on the other components of my empire, and nothing will be built.
Break it down, B:
The moral of the story is this:
Live your life boo-boo. These mens aren’t ready, and if your a dream chaser chick like I like em, you may not be either. And that’s all okay. Who likes a half baked cake. Nobody. It’s still watery and gooey (at least I think so, I still don’t know how to bake from scratch). The point is, good things take a while to manifest. A good healthy partnership will be worth the wait. Plus, I’ve consulted some of my older married associates, and they say, they wish they had taken more time to build on their own before they got married. I was told the single life will go by very quickly and I should enjoy every moment of it while I can. And that is exactly want I plan to do. You should too.
I had a real moment with God about an hour ago. I walked in my apartment looked around, rubbed my freshly cleaned carpet, sat on my couch, looked at the books and flowers on my coffee table. Then, God whispered: you have everything you need. You are in a good place. Those words put a whole smile on my face. Immediately I began the process of appreciating my current position in this world, and became content. Faith is a journey. Loving yourself is a process. However, being grateful for who you are, where you are, and what you have can be as easy as breathing in the scent of the flowers resting on your coffee table.
“I am surged upon and overswept, but through it all, I remain myself. When covered by the waters, I am; and the ebb but reveals me again.” – Zora Neale Hurston
Say: I love where I am.
Be light. Work your talents. Together we can spark a light pandemic.