I’ll keep it all the way hot. I’ll keep it a whole 400 degrees fahrenheit. I have not been moved to blog. I have not been moved to especially work on any art or liberation related work. Here lately I’ve been feeling as if the work that I have been doing was all in vain, but I prayed. I told God about my feelings and the message “Fruit don’t grow overnight” was safely planted in my heart.
Fruit: noun| the sweet and fleshy product of a tree or other plant that contains seed and can be eaten as food.
First of all today alone I’ve been venting to my best-friend about how I feel like all the work I have been doing has been for no reason. I complained to him that maybe I should not live for my dreams. I said maybe I should a regular life, get a regular husband, vacation only during the summers like regular people, and put the dream of writing, performing, creating, motivating all around the world to bed because after all–don’t nobody feel me. Ain’t nobody listening. And the whole world seems like they are trying to do the same things–write poetry, blog, photographize, model, host youtube videos, etc. So, I asked God: why should I continue to do this work when everybody else is doing it too?
Also, last week, I had a moment when it seemed like back-to-back men were on ya girl. I don’t know if its my braids, my light, or both, but it seemed like men–chocolate too–were coming for me. “I would like to spend time with you,” “I want to explore your mind,” “I was thinking we could go grab a bite to eat when you are ready to leave work,” and “You gotta take a picture with me in this purple dress.” Don’t get me wrong, I love chocolate men, but I found it real odd that when my wings gained momentum, and I finally felt like I was flying, that my vice–men–pop up like pimples. After some research, I quickly caught on to the fact the top contender is a hotep fuck boy, but I digress. Nonetheless, I curved them all. I curved the potential distractions. I curved the potential temptation. I curved the potential settling. The confidence behind my curvation was the fact that I feel like I’m flying and living for something. My purpose requires complete focus and solo time with God and pure loved ones at this current moment. I realized I had passed a formative assessment on temptation with flying colors, so I felt like I deserved a reward or fruit for my hard work and passing grade. But, nah, fruit don’t grow overnight.
Break it down, B:
So again, after I vented to God and got all bent out of shape the phrase: “fruit don’t grow overnight,” was planted in my heart. I went to sleep immediately. I was mad. The root of my lack of motivation stemmed from the fact I felt like I was not seeing any fruit growing from my labor. I have been working hard. I have been making sacrifices. Where’s the fruit? Why I ain’t free yet? Why massah still got these shackles in the form of taxes and debt on my ankles? Why I can’t shop, eat, and travel freely? The answers are simple: “fruit don’t grow overnight.”In other words, its cute that you’ve been working hard. It’s cute that you(as in me) passed one test on temptation, but you just like fruit need time to grow.
When I was a young lad, I so desperately wanted to grow a garden. I kept bugging my step-dad about it, and finally he loaned a piece of our back yard. He was so supportive and I was hype. He took me to the store and we bought seeds, fertilizer, soil, hoes, rakes, little pieces of wood so I could write the names of my veggies, and the whole nine. When we got back home that day, he made my brothers rake and prepare the area for my planting– I was the spoiled overseer. Anyway, I was hype. I wanted apple seeds, orange seeds, cantelope seeds, collard green seeds, watermelon seeds, and cabbage seeds–all the essentials. Mind you, this was my first time gardening, and I was like 12. I had done no research. I was just going for it.
So I planted. Now, in my 12-year-old mind, I thought that once you plant the seeds, you can let nature do its thing, and bam, you get fruit. Nah. That Monday, my step dad started tweakin. He’s like, “you have to get up every morning before school, before the sun starts beaming to water the garden.” He reminds me of this fact until I created a routine. Soon after, weeds start to grow. When the weeds began to grow, I had to pluck them, much like how we have to pluck people and bad habits out of our lives to allow our fruits to bloom, but, I digress.
The cantaloupe didn’t grow (at 12 I figured NC wasn’t tropical enough). The cabbage and collards didn’t even pretend to be concerned with my eagerness to have my mother cook them. The apples and oranges didn’t grown, and now I know they never will, for recently I learned it takes apple trees like 10 years to grow in the north. Oh, but that faithful watermelon finally sprouted, and there was a rush of excitement in my heart, my family’s heart, and my neighbors’. I was so excited, I saw the little leaves grow into bulbs which grew into fruit. When I saw a little bit of action, I became more excited to weed and water. I felt some kinda way, briefly, because I expected them to be as big as a pregnant woman’s belly, but they were only a tad bit larger than grapefruit–GMO’s and hormone injected foods had my mind warped. Nonetheless, I grew fruit. I did not get to taste it, but my folks said it was sweet, and I was just glad they enjoyed it.
The point is this, don’t give up and continue to nurture your dreams. You may not see immediate results, but fruit don’t grow overnight(psalm 128:2). It took weeks for my garden to yield fruit, and many of the seeds I planted did not even show up. Sometimes everything you nurture is not meant to bloom. But we cannot give up. We cannot get discourage. We cannot stop. We still have to water. We will continuously have to weed. Sooner or later, we will see the fruits of our labor manifest in the form of our dreams becoming realities.
- Good things take time.
- While we are waiting, God is preparing us.
- Faith and patience are absolute musts.
Say: I can’t stop. I won’t stop.
“You know careers take off, just gotta be patient.” -Kendrick Lamar
Salute: Hands down this is my favorite song on “Damn.” Okay I couldn’t really have a favorite because I love them all, but “Element” is definitely in the top five.
Be light. Work your talents. Together we can spark a light pandemic.
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& Thank you so much for reading
Britney “Bird Nefertiti” Newton